Time to think
I stopped working to go on this adventure almost 18 months ago now and I think I am finally finding my role, coming to terms with it, whatever you want to call it. This past year or so, I really struggled with not having a job title, a kind of status symbol outside of the house. This is something I never expected I would care about, and definitely something I learned about myself. I always wanted to be an educated, independent, strong woman, and voluntarily taking a break from work to be with husband and kids somehow didn’t seem to rhyme with this. I often feel guilty for enjoying this lifestyle. At the same time, I felt guilty for working full-time while I was a mother of young children. I guess mothers, or women, or certain people (?) always feel guilty!
Change of perspective
Now I am finally starting to see things differently. Yes I quit work to take a break for a couple of years, but that does not mean that I will never go back to work (I will have to at some point! And I want to as well). Most working women take a break when they have babies, often until their kid(s) reach school age. I did not do that.. Instead I went back to work full-time when my babies were only 10 weeks old, and felt guilty for that, but honestly I really enjoyed my job did and loved getting out of the house and having adult conversations again! So I am taking that time to be a full-time mum only now – a sailing, travelling, home-schooling mum and wife, a career woman on a sabbatical, whatever the sum of that all adds up to. And that is enough at the moment.
I am still the same person – I have not switched off my brain or ambitions, I am just focusing on something different for a couple of years. Every parent I meet who has older children tells me how time flies, how we should cherish this special time with our children, how lucky we are to be able to take a break from work in this phase of our lives. At the age our kids are art now, they still want to be with us all the time, spend as much time together as possible. I understand that, know that, but I did not really feel it myself for a while. I just thought that the days were so busy, long, and the kids’ demand for attention pretty relentless! Days at the office usually had a clear start and end, and I could always go for a coffee break or lock myself in my office! On a boat with three little ones there is nowhere to go! Although I do like to get on the paddle board… Now finally, things fall into place, the days take on a natural pace, and we are settling into our crazy life more and more.