The gender-class(room) divide

In our previous lives we both worked fulltime. That was before and after we had the kids. We both did most things around the house. There was no conscious divide between the pink and blue jobs. Boat life with kids changed that.

Our terrible trio are so close in age that they are like a little gang. Big brother Beau is separated from Zoë & Kai by 20 months. When we moved aboard Beau was 4 and the twins had just turned 3. Yup, they were small and still not all toilet trained. So needless to say we had our hands full enough with getting familiar with the boat and life onboard. Throw entertaining the drunken midgets into the mix and you get a provocative cocktail of bitter sweet bliss.

The great gender-divide wasn’t a planned event. We embrace a healthy dose of minimalism in the science of our planning. Roles evolved over time and are still ever fluid around the edges. The main thrust of our work gender-division became boat work/school. It’s not hard and fast. Sometimes I do schooling with the kids and B does boat work, but generally it’s the way we roll.

4 years on and things are changing still. The kids still run around at nineteen to the dozen and Herding Cats might have been a more appropriate boat name. BUT, we are happy to say they have reached a point of greater independence. They swim like fish, they are in tune with boat life (more so than B and I – as the life afloat is all they know.) They are aware of dangerous things and have outgrown (we hope) the risk of choking on small hazardous objects. In short, they are no longer the projectile missiles of old.

Now they know how to operate the radio. This opens doors and means we can take short off-boat excursions sans kids. When going ashore we take a handheld VHF, whilst maintaining visuals on the boat, for much revered quality time. Unthinkable even a year ago.

When boat projects don’t dominate I try and be more active in the classroom. I actually really enjoy it. Without a doubt it is not without its challenges. For sure, I have developed a new found respect for school teachers and full time care givers. Sorry to all the relief teachers we tried to break at high school.

We haven’t been resident in any of our countries of citizenship for 12 years and so have the freedom to make our own curriculum. This we do out of a variety of sources. We might not have it perfectly down pat, but who does? Boat life more than anything a lifestyle, that in itself is a great life lesson for kids. Kids are sponges absorbing by osmosis (not a word often given a positive meaning by boat people) the culture and atmosphere around them.

This week, for example, we’ve been anchored in a pretty little reef protected cove called Discovery Bay on the North coast of Jamaica. Onshore the kids have been hanging out with the local kids. Learning their games and way of doing things.

Time will tell what lasting impression our lifestyle will have on the kids.

As the poet Philip Larkin wrote,

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.   
    They may not mean to, but they do.   
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.”

Sobering reflection isn’t it?

So what have B and I as live-aboard parents learnt about home-schooling so far?

Take a deep breath – patience.

We notice they all have their own strengths. Zoë is great at maths, Kai can articulate his thoughts in ways that blows our minds. Our approach is to focus on the basics of the 3 R’s and let the rest take care of itself.

All kids are different and we found that pushing anything just caused them to dig their heels in and things became an unnecessary fight between the forces of good and evil. A few years back, for instance, Beau was not getting on with reading. After many-a-session of teary 2 sided rebukes, we took a step back and put the brakes on full, not broaching the subject again for 6 months.

B and I are both bookworms and have always read to the kids. Lots of kids books seem to always create acceptable cluster around the place. One day Beau picked up a Captain Underpants comic book and was immediately hooked. No longer was it a case of teaching, but him wanting to learn to be able to read his comic books. All of a sudden he was off.

Give a person a fish, etc…

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